LiLPhD's Xanga

Time for a Lil Vacation

Mon, 25 May 2009 17:25:36 GMT

So much has been going on lately, that I can't wait to be on vacation. The good thing is, Miko is recovering well. He's with my folks being dogsat, and will get his stitches out on 6/2. In the mean time, only one more thing left holding down my spirits... I'm waiting for some final lab results about my dad. Recently he passed out while assisting with a surgery. This is the second time this has happened in the last couple months. So far the lab results are showing no cause, but we're still waiting on a few more tests. My spirits were low this weekend, and I didn't feel like socializing very much.... so I apologize to my girlfriends for being a party pooper on Saturday. I wish I would know the results before I go to Hawaii tomorrow, but I doubt that will happen. But maybe the waves of Maui will wash away my concerns temporarily!

Looking to 2009

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 20:14:00 GMT

My grandmother in Thailand passed away last Friday, after many months in a coma. The relatives decided to have the funeral that following Sunday, so unfortunately my father could not attend in time. He almost never spoke of her, but I'm sure deep inside he's mourning. My cousin sent out photos from the funeral yesterday. Seeing the photos just made it that much more real to me. We all knew the time was coming, but it's still upsetting. She had alzheimers though, so prior to her coma she was usually confused, failing to recognize people. Yet she always had a smile in her face. Anyway, I try to think of her passing in a positive way though... No more dimentia, and maybe she's finally reunited with her husband who died decades ago? Or she's possibly with her favorite grandson who drowned back in 1996.

Thinking of all this makes it a little tough to be cheery around the in-laws, but I'm managing. Just hope 2009 will be better.

Week #1 down.... many to go

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 02:47:54 GMT

Ok so technically only 3 days down... since I started on Tuesday. My boss is really cool though, as are all my coworkers. I can basically roll into the office whenever i want, as long as I'm completing 40 hours/week somehow. There's also no dress code. The last two days were software training, and today was miscellaneous stuff --- i.e. cleaning/scrubbing down my office (cubicle), getting keys, getting an ID card, getting an email, etc. Now that all that miscellaneous stuff is done, I feel official!

Oh, and did I mention that it turns out my title is HR Manager? What a nice surprise that was. As my boss was introducing me to people as that, at first I was thinking, 'what is he talking about? i'm just a HR Specialist!' haha. It's funny how meaningful a title can be to people.... despite the fact that my department is technically only 3 people. haha... and that's including myself!

So I commute via Bart daily now. My hunnie drops me off every morning, and picks me up in the evening. It kind of sucks not getting home until like 6:30pm.... but at least I have income now. That's what matters. The thing is, I hate public transportation because I am a hygiene freak. And what do I get for that? A cold. I'm pretty sure someone on the train gave me a cold, because people are always coughing and sniffling on there. I tend to travel breathing in my own scarf most of the time... but that didn't help me, apparently. Damn sick people. I have to kick this cold before Monday though... because my real hands-on training begins on Monday! (The guy that held the position before me --- for 23 years --- is coming back just to train me for 3 days next week!)

Different Kind of Waiting

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 05:01:09 GMT

So I had an interview at Cal for a job in HR a couple weeks ago, and long story short I was overly caffeinated for it. But I guess they liked my energy and personality, because they called me last week and offered me the position! So now we are negotiating salary details..... this is a first for me, as I've never had any opportunities to negotiate salary in the past. (Or perhaps I was an amateur and just didn't recognize the opportunities, and just accepted whatever salaries they gave me?!)

All my hard work is hopefully going to pay off. What sucks though is, I did have other jobs that I had applied to, that I was also excited about.... but they haven't contacted me since I sent my resume... and I sent my resume to these maybe just a couple weeks ago. I even got a letter today from a community college saying that they are forwarding my application materials to the screening and interview committees and they'd contact me in four weeks if I make the cut. In four weeks, I'll probably already be working! *sigh* Time is of the essence, they say. And let's suppose I am working at Cal in HR and am offered a position at a community college.... which was a sort of dream career for me.... then what?

I've been thinking about this though... and even though I love teaching, I also just love interacting with people. Having HR on my resume opens doors to any industry, any company, anywhere. Teaching at colleges limits my options to only teaching in my field at few, very hard to find positions at colleges. And since I'm not open to relocating to other states (or even other parts of CA), it would make it that much harder to find a job if I lose a teaching job due to budget cuts, etc. Also, HR has the potential to pay roughly the same (and maybe even more) than what a professor earns. *sigh*

Having gotten some good advice from a friend who does HR for a living, I think I am on a new path in HR. I was advised to get a PHR certification to increase my marketability... so perhaps instead of a PhD, I'll have a PHR? I looked into it though, and I can't take the exam until I've worked in the field for at least two years.

Funny how my future plans could change in a matter of months, eh? But as I was always told.... sometimes you have to "be like the grass and bend with the wind."

The Final Meeting: East Meets West

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:41:15 GMT

So I met with the Fremont guy again to go over the details of the revised offer letter, and to once again breach the topic of compensation. The meeting didn't go well, and was over within a matter of minutes....

I sat down in his office and proposed my ideas about either increasing the $3000/mo probation pay to $3500/mo, explaining that $3000 does not cover my mortgage after taxes. I then said that if it was not possible to do this, then I ask the agency to decrease my probation time to two months. Without even addressing my proposals, he said, "I don't understand why you are so focused on salary; you should be focused on the probation period and seeing if you can handle the responsibilities." He was clearly annoyed. I responded, explaining that I need to know a range for the position's salary, because I need to know that the post-probation pay is enough for me to live on. He again replied by saying that I shouldn't be so hung up on salary, and that salary just "depends." I said, "Depends on what?" He proceeded to dance around his response, giving me some sort of speech about how every individual is different. So I moved on, and asked him about benefits, and he could not give me much information about that.

So I moved on down my agenda further, addressing the fact that last time he mentioned that I may better opt to use my own laptop for my work...

Me: "What is the protocol, if my laptop is stolen or damaged on the job?"
Him: "It's never happened before."
[Awkward silence]
Me: "That's good to hear, but what IF it happens? Do you have a procedure for that?"
Him: "Well, it's never happened, but if it does, then your warranty should cover it."
Me: "My laptop was bought in 2004, so the warranty might be expired."
Him: "You might want to see if you can purchase an extended warranty on it. But most importantly, remember that it is the data that is more important than the laptop itself, I advise you to back it up somewhere."

UH... NO SHIT, of COURSE it's important to back up the data. That is irrelevant though! Basically he was telling me that I would be responsible for my lost/damaged/stolen laptop?! Then when I repeated his response, to make sure that I understood his response correctly --- and to make him see how stupid it sounded from a business perspective. He then mumbled something about how the company would 'probably' reimburse me for it. Of course, none of this is in writing, because their agency does not have a protocol/policy anywhere about matters such as this.

Long story short, I emailed the Cupertino lady to let her know that I met with the Fremont guy, and that I am unable to accept the full time position at this time because I cannot commit to every weekend, and thanked her for her time and consideration.

Thus... my job hunting continues --- not that it ever stopped!

Waiting Game Continues....

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:59:24 GMT

So the agency sent me another offer letter, and it had typos and grammatical errors, and the content was incredibly ambiguous, missing information as vital as a salary. I emailed them back and asked for clarification about each item on the letter, and have not heard from them for five days. I called them today to follow up and was informed that they're still working on revising the offer letter, and they are considering other candidates as well... and that my main downfall is that I do not speak Mandarin. They do however want me to do some teaching as well as some administrative projects, on top of the counseling. That is fine by me, as long as we can agree on a salary. I don't mind teaching --- as long as they compensate enough --- and I am more than willing to help them with administrative projects, because clearly they need help in that area!

So they said they'd get back to me in a couple days. Apparently they had a bad experience with a previous hire that somehow cost them money and time, and so they're not sure if I would jack them too. But hey... money speaks volumes to me right now... so hopefully they'll realize that if they can pay me enough, I won't jack them. hahaha.

30 apps, 5 interviews, 1 offer

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 04:28:12 GMT

Chalk it up to my lack of qualifications, poor choice in potential employers, or the messed up economy increasing my competition... after 3 solid months of obsessive job hunting I finally got an offer. So here's my story, along with a recent update...

I got a call from a company regarding a counselor position that I had applied for. It is a private agency that caters to Chinese parents who want their kids to attend an ivy league school. As a counselor, it would be my job to get them ready to be competitive applicants by making sure that they have all the necessary coursework, strong exam scores, extracurricular activities, awards/recognitions, etc. It would also be my job to help them with the college application process and edit their application essays. Doesn't seem very difficult. In fact, it's a mix of what I did as an undergraduate adviser at Cal, and my duties as a TA at UC Davis. The company is headquartered in Cupertino but has 4 branches around the bay area. It took me nearly an hour to get there due to traffic, but I got there for my initial interview last Wednesday.

The place is staffed by 99% Chinese. All I could hear was Mandarin all around me. And the company sign was as gaudy as all hell. Who the hell uses rainbow colors in their company name? Oh, right... older Asian people. (Good thing I happened to choose to wear my mandarin collar top! haha) Long story short, I interviewed with 3 people, one after another with a few minutes of waiting in between. In total I was there for three hours. The last interviewer was a clear example of how older generation Asians have no regard (or awareness?) of California laws or social etiquette. The first two questions she asked me were, "Are you married or single?" and "Do you have kids?" I hesitantly answered those questions, along with many more. To top it off, she wanted to test my abilities on the spot.... so she gave me two student folders to review --- both which contained real names, ID information, and more. I believe there is a law about that? --- and she asked me to tell her what my recommendations to that student would be if I were their counselor.

Two days later I got an email with a job offer from the company. But then I realized, in those 3 hours, I never got to ask any of MY questions! There was so much that I didn't even know about the company and the job that I was just offered. So I made another appointment --- this time at the Fremont location --- and met with another person.

My followup appointment in Fremont was this afternoon. I had a list of 14 questions, more than 14 if you count my sub-questions. The guy was nice and able to answer most of them. The only one he couldn't address was the most important one ---- salary negotiation. So alas... I am waiting to talk to the Cupertino lady once more. If they're not willing to budge on the salary offer, I might take it anyway and hopefully get a raise by the first quarterly review. (Unless another job offer comes along from one of my 29 other applications.) I was assured that there is plenty of opportunity to advance within the company, as they are quickly expanding statewide, nationwide, and internationally. Overall I think they just want an Asian American on their team, since a lot of their students are Asian Ams themselves and would relate better to an Asian Am counselor.

So now I'm just waiting to hear from that Cupertino lady for a phone appointment. I'd really like to avoid driving to Cupertino again.... but if I absolutely have to, I'm definitely not coming back empty handed ---- there's a very good dumpling restaurant somewhere in that area!

A Lil Subpoena

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 05:16:07 GMT

So I got a subpoena in the mail to be a witness to the incident that happened a long time ago on the freeway --- remember that drunk driver I followed until CHP was able to pull him over? Yeah, he must have plead Not Guilty, because his trial is in October. I have to drive out to Vallejo for that! Thank god for my blog though, as I had blogged all the details, so it refreshed my memory. Here's the original blog if anyone needs a refresher too....

Saturday, February 24, 2007

CHP's sidekick

I hopped onto I-80 thinking it was just going to be another boring drive from Davis to Fremont this evening, but boy was I wrong! Around Vacaville area I noticed a pickup truck in the far left lane, drifting in and out of his lane. He did this for a couple miles, almost causing a couple accidents with cars in the next lane. I decided to report him, because he obviously was a hazzard. After being on hold for a couple long minutes, the dispatcher finally answered. I told her what I saw, and she told me that two other people had just called to report the same truck! She kept me on the line though, telling me to follow the guy and tell her what exits we were passing, as she tried to dispatch a nearby CHP unit, which turned out to be in Fairfield. She told me to turn on my hazard lights, so the officer would just look for my car. Eventually the CHP was behind me, and I moved over. She followed the truck from a distance, to see if he was going to drift out of his lane again --- and by golly, he did. As she sped up to catch him, I was right behind her! (For once, I wasn't scared of getting a speeding ticket. LOL.) The dispatcher told me to stick with the CHP and pull over behind the vehicle, after the truck was pulled over. Unlucky for me, the guy took the junction to Highway 37! So, doing my civic duty, I had to follow... even though I really wanted to stay on I-80! Finally the CHP pulls the guy over, and 2 more CHP vehicles show up out of nowhere and stop behind me. The officer tells the guy to get out of his truck, and as he does, he is clearly drunk. He couldn't even walk straight! As he was walking around his car to get to the shoulder, he kept stumbling, and probably would have fallen over if his own truck wasn't there to prop him every couple steps. One of the officers from the vehicles behind me stops by my passenger window to take my statement and information. I told him what I had seen during the last 30 minutes of driving behind the guy. (I neglected to mention that he flicked a cigarette butt out of the window though... I should have mentioned that, cuz it's illegal and he'd have another fine of like $400 added to his problems.) After giving my statement, I was able to go on my way back to I-80. As I backtracked, I saw -- yes, I was guilty of rubbernecking --- the cops still there with the truck, but one of the officers was searching his truck.

Yes, another job well done on the freeway for me. Thank goodness nobody was hurt... including his poor dog that was in the truck with him!

Time to Move On....

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 04:11:09 GMT

So I think I've finally made the decision that may change my life as I know it --- I'm going to take a leave of absence from my PhD program indefinitely. I'm tired of fighting a battle wrought with politics, one that I will never win. As I read through my xanga postings for the last two years, I realize how much I absolutely hated almost every day of my life. Working for 'A' has slowly chipped away at my livelihood and left me a bitter shell of a person; based on my experience with her, I have become a hateful person and I find myself wishing something bad would happen to her, and feeling assured that I wouldn't care about the loss of such a person. I've tried for the last two years to turn things around, but things just never worked out my way.... So here is where I draw the line. I've requested the form from my School to take a leave of absence, and I'm going to do it. And by doing it, I will royally screw A's lab and will at least feel like I have somehow gotten a little bit of retribution.

It's all still settling in my mind, but I'm slowly putting the past 4 years of misery behind me. I've closed down the ranting blogs that I wrote and now just have to come to terms with the fact that I started a project that I simply couldn't finish. Somedays I feel like a complete loser with my husband always telling me that I have to find a job --- but my lack of employment is certainly not due to lack of effort or desire. Other days I hate myself for not foreseeing all this years earlier. Other days I can't forgive myself for promising my parents that I'd get the PhD, because now I will not be keeping my promise. And other days I feel like I didn't try hard enough.

This is the first time since 2001 that I have ever been a complete bum. It is a pretty unsettling feeling, especially when I'm not used to being so idle. So if you don't see any xanga postings from me for a while, it's just because I'm taking time to sort through all this and figuring out how to be 'ok' with my life changing decision.

Brushing up on my photography skills

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:41:08 GMT

Since I've been a bum for the last few weeks, being in limbo re. my doctoral program, and waiting to hear from employers, I've had some time to brush up on my photography skills. It's so nice being 'on vacation'... it's the first break of this kind I've had since 1994. As long as I could remember, I've always either been in school or working. Now though I suffer from guilt when someone says, "What are you doing tomorrow???" and I don't have a good answer ready. I don't think I could ever be a full-time house wife.... I'm working class... I might as well act like it. LOL. In the mean time, I'll just pretend I'm a freelance photographer.